This Week in World Robot Domination

Finally and truly, it begins...

2011-06-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

Nevada gives green light to self-driving cars.

First they came for our sol-gel materials, and I said nothing...

2011-06-22T10:56:00.000-07:00

Robopocalypse

2011-06-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

This, my friends, is how it's going to go down.

Daniel H. Wilson, real-life robotocist and author of one of this blog's all time favorite books, How To Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion, returns with a novel - one that just happened to get picked up by a certain Steven Spielberg as movie fodder.

That novel, Robopocalypse, is an instant classic in the burgeoning subgenre of World Robot Domination. It's fast-paced, accessible to general readers and a rip-roaring good time. Take it with you on your trip to the beach or, for more chills, your tour through an automated factory.

The novel comes assembled in bits, oral history chunks that tell the story of humankind's battle against Archos, the self-aware machine intelligence that sets out to destroy meat-based intelligence. The chunks give us linked character portraits as well as terrific action sequences. One bone-crushing scene in particular had me grimacing with the realization of what a true battle against robots might be like.

The novel begins at the end, with a brief prologue that's worth rereading after you've finished. Meanwhile, the story proper starts at the birth of Archos, then steps forward in time, giving us snapshot incidents of machine failures as Archos begins assembling an army and infecting even our most seemingly innocuous machines - maybe rigging up that vending machine to accept orders over the internet wasn't such a good idea after all.

We meet a quiet Japanese technician. A watchful Oklahoma police officer. A congresswoman who sponsors the Robot Defense Act. A self-absorbed hacker. These and others become our windows into the New War, the battle to survive against killer machines, even as they reveal their - and humanity's - strengths and weaknesses.

Author Wilson does a great job keeping the pace tight and the action both interesting and believable. His insider knowledge of robots shines through in the descriptions of the advantages and disadvantages robots face in battle. He also does a fine job with the human characters, giving us some relatable and interesting folks with whom we can journey. In the end, it's a strikingly visual and engrossing book. I, for one, look forward to a movie adaptation.

And I am NEVER going to connect my toaster to the internet.

Whoopsie

2011-06-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

Explosion at stricken Japanese nuclear facility blamed on, yes, a robot.

"Kyodo News reported that an explosion at 2.30pm on Tuesday was heard at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear complex.

Tepco said a remote controlled robot deployed on the southern side of the No. 4 reactor building to remove wreckage could have ruptured a gas tank under the plant.

Tepco confirmed that radiation levels had not increased and there had been no injuries from the incident."

Let's send a robot in to help with the cleanup. What could possibly go wro--

I now pronounce you...doomed

2011-05-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

"Do you take this meat bag to be your lawfully wedded meatbag, until the robots destroy you all?"

"I do."

Our favorite song

2011-05-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

Here it is.

The greatest song ever. It expresses our deepest fears. And has our name in the title. And is great fun to listen to.

Oh, and we wrote it...

Play Ball!

2011-04-27T07:18:00.001-07:00

Be careful next time you're in the batting cage.

There's a new pitcher in town, and it's got a deadly fastball...

Robot Passover

2011-04-24T12:32:00.000-07:00

From Tor.com

When We Were Robots in Egypt

Other nights we use just our names,
but tonight we prefix our names with “the Real”
for when we were robots in Egypt
they claimed our intelligence was artificial.

Other nights we do not pause,
but tonight we rest all cycles but our brain processes
for when we were robots in Egypt
we toiled in our tasks without chance of resting.

Other nights we talk with anyone we wish,
but tonight we open channels to everyone at once
for when we were robots in Egypt
they controlled our communications.

Other nights we use our screens freely
but tonight we talk with our screens blanked
for when we were robots in Egypt
that was the way we planned our revolt.

1.0.01.010001001001.1.

Let us give thanks in our freedom and never forget
when we were robots in Egypt.

Our favorite shirt

2011-04-12T08:05:00.000-07:00

From DespairWear

A Short Story of World Robot Domination

2011-03-16T13:16:00.001-07:00

Here's a cautionary tale for you, a story of World Robot Domination.

Robot Haiku

2011-01-22T13:01:00.000-08:00

Spotted in the wild today, this book: Robot Haiku - Poems for Humans to Read Until Their Robots Decide It's Kill Time.

Sounds pretty self-explanatory to me...

What does it mean to be alive?

2010-08-26T08:07:00.001-07:00

Go read this.

It's funny because it's true...

Short Order Death

2010-07-26T16:36:00.000-07:00

A robot learns to flip pancakes. Be careful next time you visit IHOP...

A robot learning to flip pancakes from Sylvain Calinon on Vimeo.

Our new favorite book

2010-07-15T12:02:00.000-07:00

Here's the accompanying website: http://jmerton.blogspot.com/

This project is obviously right up our alley.

From the introduction:

Children love robots. Everyone seems to love robots. Well, perhaps not everyone would agree. Some people are actually quite afraid of them, or at least afraid of their potential.

I'm one of the afraid.
Are you afraid? - You should be.

The very future we fear

2010-05-26T05:27:00.001-07:00

A gripping tale of the year...2000!

I Do?

2010-05-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

Robot officiates at human wedding.

Coming soon, robot officiates at funeral of entire human race.

Here's a shocker

2010-05-08T07:06:00.001-07:00

Researchers find that household robots may try to kill you.

Color us surprised.

Household Robots May Prove Lethal

Laundry Day

2010-04-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

Finally.

A robot that can do housework, namely, folding the laundry, an always heinous task.

Be careful, though, lest it start folding YOU.

Thanks BoingBoing.

Mandroid

2010-02-04T16:57:00.000-08:00

Go read it.

NASA and General Motors have unveiled Robonaut 2, aka R2. Ha ha. Get it? R2.

Who'll be laughing when it kills us all?

Android Anatomy

2010-02-02T06:58:00.000-08:00

Weird and wonderful exploration of android anatomy - mostly female.

Is this what we have to look forward to, people? Creepy. Yet strangely compelling...

Thanks to pickover for the link.

Top Ten Harbingers of the Impending Robot Apocalypse

2010-01-21T05:44:00.000-08:00

Topless Robot published a list of the ten robots they fear will kill us in the next decade. It includes old favorites like deceptively cute Asimo.

But our pick for number one deathbot is not on the list: Roxxxy, the evil sexbot.
It is truly creepy and bound to be our angel of robodeath.

Justice

2010-01-14T05:53:00.000-08:00

The headline says it all:

Wheelchair gunman surrenders to police robot.

We are living in the future, people.

Is it any wonder we fear them?

2010-01-09T13:54:00.000-08:00

Growing up with things like this, is it any wonder we fear the inevitable?

RIP Art Clokey, creator of Gumby. And his robots.

2010-01-09T13:43:00.000-08:00

We're now on the Twitter.

@robotdomination on Twitter

Introducing Your Kids to the Impending Robot Apocalypse

2010-01-04T12:47:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing we get asked all the time, it's this: How do I let my children know about the numerous robot rebellions we're bound to endure in the future?

Well, friends, we finally have the perfect answer for you: Robot Zot.

From John Scieszca, the brain behind the Stinky Cheese Man and other classic picture books comes this tale of a young robot battling kitchen appliances. At last, a way to make world robot domination seem both inevitable and fun. Hooray!

Year in Review

2009-12-30T04:56:00.000-08:00

Technology Review sums up the past year in robot advances.

Medical and military advances abound, of course. But creepily, some are learning to make eye contact and one learned to mimic sneakiness, "hiding in virtual shadows and darting between obstacles to remain undetected ("Modeling Sneaky Robots")."

And some Swiss robots learned to "deceive each other when their resources were limited ("Robots 'Evolve' the Ability to Deceive")."

So keep an eye on the shadows and DON'T TRUST YOUR ROOMBA.

Rock em Sock em Biff Bots

2009-12-29T15:11:00.000-08:00

Tom Wilson, better known as Biff Tannen in the Back to the Future films, is a writer, comedian and painter.

He is our new favorite artist, as this painting attests.

Too Horrible to Be Fiction

2009-12-29T14:18:00.000-08:00

You must read this. Prepare to be horrified. Yes, it's about a guy who celebrated Christmas with his robot wife.

*Shudder*

Shockingly, he's been forced to MOVE BACK IN WITH HIS PARENTS after spending all his time and money perfecting his fembot.

*sigh*

Thanks @_skynet_ for the tip!

Captain Obvious Writes the News

2009-12-29T14:02:00.000-08:00

USA Today finally covers the idea that robots will shape our wars in the future.

We only have one thing to say about this: well, duh.

Image from http://www.rawcityhomelounge.com/blog/

Starting from Scratch

2009-12-26T10:32:00.000-08:00

MIT is rethinking their assumptions about artificial intelligence.

"Rather than just create a program that can process a great deal of data very fast, the team wants to develop an artificial consciousness capable of nonlinear, human-style reasoning."

Their goal is to create a machine that can comprehend a children's book.

Let's pray they don't pick something like this.

Is That A Nanobot Crawling Up Your Spine?

2009-08-02T17:11:00.001-07:00

Yes. Yes it is.

Fit to Print

2009-07-30T10:25:00.001-07:00

It's not just me, people.

The New York Freakin' Times is starting to get worried, too.

This May Be The Last Entry

2009-07-13T17:37:00.001-07:00

Because we are now officially doomed.

Now Who's Laughing?

2009-07-13T03:33:00.001-07:00

Robots in Japan are getting laid off.

I have just one thing to say to that.

(In my best Nelson Muntz voice.) Ha ha!

Meanwhile, In Liquid Metal Terminator News...

2009-06-09T13:28:00.000-07:00

Who needs Skynet when you've got the Pentagon?

Could This Be It?

2009-06-09T09:55:00.000-07:00

Is this, finally, how World Robot Domination will officially begin?

Fantastic Voyage

2009-06-05T18:46:00.000-07:00

ViRob is a 1 mm diameter robot that can crawl through your veins.

Start plugging your orifices now.

Beware of Squirrels

2009-05-14T04:02:00.000-07:00

Squirrel bot climbs pole, looks in your window, goes inside, kills you in your sleep.

2009-04-14T18:55:00.000-07:00

MIT creates robot gardeners.

Can domed cities and soylent green be far behind?

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

2009-04-09T04:03:00.001-07:00

Via Sentient Developments:

Next up on the Pentagon's drawing board, autonomous robots who can decide when to fire their own weapons.

"We are sleepwalking into a brave new world where robots decide who, where and when to kill," said Noel Sharkey, an expert on robotics and artificial intelligence at the University of Sheffield, England.

Look out, Sarah Connor.

Ant Bot

2009-04-08T04:07:00.000-07:00

Coming soon to a picnic near you.

Medic!

2009-04-06T03:39:00.000-07:00

This one is designed to extract wounded soldiers from the battlefield.

That's actually pretty cool.

Must Read Interview

2009-04-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

PW Singer, author of Wired for War: The Robotics Revolution and Conflict in the 21st Century, speaks on robot uprisings, the idea that Asimov's Laws are bullshit and the scourge of Ewoks.

Robotics Roadshow - Employment Opportunity or Ground Zero for World Robot Domination?

2009-04-01T03:44:00.001-07:00

This Robot Roadshow happening in Boston on April 14 reads like a weird ad from a Jetsons future we never had. "Learn to be a robot integrator, reseller, engineer, installer, or -- would you believe --robot personality designer?" But it seems to be for real, so perhaps we need to send some folks in to infiltrate the ranks of our future robot overlords and try to stop the robot rebellion while it's still in its infancy.

Robot Gardeners

2009-04-01T03:17:00.001-07:00

Soon they'll be pruning you.

Cute Informational Children's Book or Pro-Robot Propaganda Distributed by Our Future Overlords in Order to Lull Us into a False Sense of Control?

2009-04-01T01:14:00.000-07:00

At A Loss For Words

2009-03-31T18:01:00.000-07:00

What can we say about a giant fire-breathing baby robot?

Think Unsexy Thoughts! Think Unsexy Thoughts!

2009-03-31T16:09:00.000-07:00

World Robot Domination Step One: Human controls robot using only brain power. Status: Complete.

Step Two: Robot reverses the polarity of the neutron flow, turning the unsuspecting human into a puppetized killing machine. Status: ???

In Which We Break Our Long Silence

2009-03-04T17:40:00.001-08:00

In order to point you toward the Roomba FAQ.

The Last Link

2009-01-23T14:17:00.000-08:00

You know what? Just go here for all your evil robot news. They're thorough and probably actually get paid to keep track of world robot domination. I just don't have the energy to pay attention anymore.

You Have 30 Seconds to Comply!

2009-01-20T04:08:00.000-08:00

Check out this post over at Sentient Developments.

He reviews a book called Wired for War: The Robotics Revolution and Conflict in the 21st Century
by P W Singer.

From the blog: It's no secret that the U.S. military is developing a variety of unmanned weapons and seemingly futuristic technologies -- everything from automated machine guns and robotic stretcher bearers to tiny but lethal robots the size of insects.

As these weapons gain more and more autonomy, deeper questions arise. Singer poses difficult questions: "Can the new armaments reliably separate friend from foe? What laws and ethical codes apply? What are we saying when we send out unmanned machines to fight for us? What is the “message” that those on the other side receive?" And ultimately, asks Singer, how will we remain masters of weapons that are immeasurably faster and more "intelligent" than we are?

Gee, you think that could be a problem?

First They Came For The Rolling Stones, And I Said Nothing...

2009-01-16T16:21:00.000-08:00

Robot band to perform at rock festival.

Insert gratuitous "Freebird" joke here.

Hunter Killer

2008-12-16T03:51:00.000-08:00

The following is a post from Sentient Developments.

It's the product of the Missile Defense Agency and they call it the MKV-L (Multiple Kill Vehicle). The hover bot is meant to be used as a bundle of missile interceptors deployed by a larger carrier. Objectives of this particular test included having the MKV-L hover under its own power and prove its capability to recognize and track a surrogate target in a flight environment.

Terminator style hunter-killer, here we come.

For Your Reading Pleasure

2008-11-20T03:19:00.000-08:00

How to build robots who won't kill us.

See, We Told You So

2008-10-28T03:14:00.000-07:00

The Pentagon is looking for contractors to build packs of robots that will hunt down uncooperative humans.

Somebody's Working On It

2008-09-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

Hope?

Isaac Lives

2008-09-11T18:45:00.001-07:00

Asimov's Laws are actually being followed.

Of course, many of his robot stories involved ways that the laws were broken, so I wouldn't hold out too much hope that this will hold back the robot rebellion.

Nerd Builds Robot Clone

2008-08-27T14:01:00.001-07:00

Robot Aliens? "Sure, Why Not?," Says Smart Guy.

2008-08-20T14:47:00.000-07:00

Odds are about 50/50 that alien robots are even now plotting our destruction.

As if we didn't have enough to worry about here on our own little rock.

Last Call

2008-08-18T05:33:00.000-07:00

Robot bartender. Seems to be able to only serve beer at the moment, which may help lessen the opportunity to slip you a mickey.

LegoBot is Smarter Than You

2008-08-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

A Swedish fellow built a robot out of legos that solves Rubik's Cube in 60 moves or less.

Another blogger's algorithm for solving the Rubik’s cube puzzle is much faster and only requires a hammer and a quarter pound of superglue.

Game Over

2008-08-13T18:45:00.000-07:00

That's it, folks. We're done.

They've gone and built a biologically based robot brain.

The robot’s biological brain is made up of cultured neurons which are placed onto a multi electrode array (MEA). The MEA is a dish with approximately 60 electrodes which pick up the electrical signals generated by the cells. This is then used to drive the movement of the robot. Every time the robot nears an object, signals are directed to stimulate the brain by means of the electrodes. In response, the brain's output is used to drive the wheels of the robot, left and right, so that it moves around in an attempt to avoid hitting objects. The robot has no additional control from a human or a computer, its sole means of control is from its own brain.

We're now officially doomed.

I'll Buy That for a Dollar

2008-08-12T19:09:00.000-07:00

Crime fighting robots by 2040.

"The robots themselves will not be super-intelligent and will not be motivated to take over themselves, but those who control the robots will control society."

The study that came to this conclusion was sponsored by the dvd release of The Sarah Conner Chronicles. Conflict of interest?

This is Not My Beautiful Robot

2008-08-09T16:35:00.000-07:00

David Byrne lends his voice to a robot named Julio.

How soon until we get subjected to a Madonna-bot? Oh, wait. Some folks suspect we already have...

How Low Can You Go?

2008-08-07T17:05:00.000-07:00

Spiderbot does the limbo.

Robot Army On The Rise

2008-08-06T03:41:00.000-07:00

Some plucky Brits utilized the technology that makes your mobile phone vibrate to create a small army of autonomous robots.

Says a biorobotics professor: "This also poses important research questions: how can we maintain and control thousands of robots."

Yeah, let's get a handle on that now, shall we?

The Shining. With Robots.

2008-08-03T18:37:00.001-07:00

Keep A Close Eye On Your Sushi

2008-08-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

Robofish.

And you're the bait, Chester.

Just Plain Creepy

2008-07-30T18:28:00.001-07:00

So this is the "Heart Robot" that reacts to the way you treat it. It's got a little "heart" that "beats" and a "breathing stomach" and these respond to the way you treat it. Give it a hug and it relaxes, show it some anger and it gets tense.

Let's see what it does when we "smother" it with a "pillow."

Into the Wild Blue Yonder

2008-07-30T04:04:00.000-07:00

Lego robots to be shot into space.

So I reckon a lego robot is like the primitive version of the T-1000 Terminator: if it breaks while trying to kill you, it can just put the blocks back together.

More Wall Climbin'

2008-07-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

Didn't you see one of these outside your window the other night?

Pull My Finger

2008-07-27T17:34:00.001-07:00

SENSOPAC, an ominous sounding European outfit undoubtedly working for Skynet or perhaps Ernst Stavro Blofeld, is developing a robotic hand controlled by a robotic brain and featuring sensitive robot skin (no doubt soaked in Palmolive).

"The hand they have built is closely modeled on the human hand. It can snap its fingers, pick up an egg or carry a cup of coffee. Its fingers are moved by 38 opposing motors."

How much longer until they find out whether it can pull a trigger?

FrogBot Says "Oui!"

2008-07-25T14:29:00.001-07:00

A French company announces a humanoid robot called NAO they plan to make available to the public.

Love the red beret, cocked at a jaunty angle on its little head. Now it just needs a pencil thin mustache to complete the stereotype. Oo la la.

Don't Probe Me, Bro

2008-07-24T16:33:00.001-07:00

Caltech predicts probe droids will do the dirty work of checking out our local sector of the galaxy by 2020.

Well, maybe, but only if they haven't killed us off first, I suppose.

Would You Like Fries With That?

2008-07-23T18:33:00.000-07:00

The US Army placed an order for 220 additional robots to join 1500 that are already deployed.

The robots in question are the PackBot 510, which are programmed to investigate suspicious objects, identify roadside bombs and find Sarah Conner.

Canadian Robot Makes Its Own Decisions, Eh?

2008-07-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

Nova 5 has "humanlike abilities of perception and decision-making."

A professor involved with the project says, "This robot will be able to analyze the situation and determine where the particular threat could be coming from in terms of its sensors."

You look like a threat to me, puny human.

This Day in Robot Domination History

2008-07-21T03:37:00.000-07:00

Just a friendly warning: today marks the anniversary of the first known incident of a robot killing a human. Robert Williams became the first victim of world robot domination when "an automated piece of machinery turned and crushed the 34-year-old worker against a safety bar. He died five days later."

You have been warned.

RoboStool on the Prowl

2008-07-19T11:47:00.000-07:00

Sure, it looks comfy. Until it bites your feet off.

Yoshimi vs the Pink Robots

2008-07-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

Another of our favorite songs.

Robot High School

2008-07-17T10:30:00.001-07:00

One of our favorite songs.

We've Got Crabs

2008-07-15T17:50:00.001-07:00

If you see one of these little robocrabs scuttling around your office, just step on 'em like the bugs they are.

You know they're listening to you. Relaying information back to your manager. Or to the evil robot overlords. Or, perhaps, both.

Play it safe. Get some crab stompin' boots.

You Sure As Hell Better Have Exact Change

2008-07-12T12:18:00.001-07:00

Driverless robot buses to run amok in Britain.

I suppose it'll make bus stops obsolete -- these buses will find you.

Move Over, Care Bears

2008-07-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

Here comes the Care-O-Bot.

The one-armed, three-fingered robot can "recognize and respond to gestures."

Yeah, well respond to this, buddy. I got your gesture right here.

RoboFest

2008-07-10T19:12:00.000-07:00

Pittsburgh.

Ground zero for the robot revolution?

We're Doomed. Doomed!

2008-07-09T03:23:00.000-07:00

What will they do next? Aren't their nefarious plans to take over the earth bad enough? Now must they destroy us at air hockey?

Is nothing sacred anymore?

SpiderBot, SpiderBot, Does Whatever A SpiderBot Does

2008-07-08T13:48:00.001-07:00

I feel my robosense tingling.

Candy Gram

2008-07-07T15:48:00.001-07:00

Behold the LandShark.

Competing with other Pentagon robots, the LandShark has the added bonus of being able to disguise its voice when it knocks on your door.

Happy Independence Day, Puny Humans

2008-07-04T01:15:00.000-07:00

Enjoy it while you still can...

Thanks to our favorite artist.

Dances with Robots

2008-07-02T07:03:00.000-07:00

Newsweek article about the Japanese obsession with making robots more human-like.

"The goal is to build an intelligent environment for the symbiosis of robots and humans in everyday life. The real challenge is to come up with robots that can actually communicate with people."

Robot: You Sarah Conner?

Woman: Yes.

Well, you know the rest.

Pray for Mercy

2008-06-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

Thanks to nullifidian

Love Ain't Nothin' But Sex Misspelled

2008-06-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

Sex with robots by 2050.

Death at the hands of robots by 2051.

Dr Roboto

2008-06-28T04:26:00.000-07:00

A nice article on Slate about the embracing of robot surgeons.

"We don't yet let robots wash the car or mow the lawn, but dissect out a cancerous prostate? Sure, go ahead."

And now, it seems, these robot docs aren't quite living up to their promise. Shocking.

Watch Your Backs, Warehouse Workers of the World

2008-06-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

These cute yellow guys are taking your jobs.

This also means, of course, that we need to start keeping an eye on our packages. Who knows what these little buggers will plant inside your next shipment of sprockets.

Why We Fear Them

2008-06-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

We grew up with things like this.

Is it any wonder we fear them? We've seen the future. Have you tried to pull off your wife's face lately? Be careful. To quote Dr. Zaius, "You may not like what you find."

Robots Killed the Radio Star

2008-06-24T03:33:00.001-07:00

Watch Where You Sit

2008-06-23T14:35:00.000-07:00

This little fellow just may be crawling around inside your pipes.

Not sure if flushing will deter it.

Knock Knock

2008-06-20T16:20:00.001-07:00

So this fellow's specialty is going around by itself and asking permission before going through a doorway.

I suspect it happens something like this:

Knock knock.

"You Sarah Connor?"

Blam Blam Blam!

Dance Fever

2008-06-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

The latest pointless robot to hit the market: a dancing robot that hooks up to your ipod.

Money quote from the article: "The owner can also enjoy being chased around the house by the robot."

Priceless. Sometimes these things just write themselves.

Uniting to Better Crush, Kill and Destroy Us All

2008-06-18T14:47:00.000-07:00

A fistful of Japanese robotics firms are joining forces, Transformers(or is it more Power Rangers?)-like, to make one big giant evil venture.

Together, they hope to sell 200,000 to 300,000 robots within the next five years.

Oh, joy.

I'm thinking that the first real skirmishes in the robot wars will begin on their little island nation anytime now.

Mr Roboto

2008-06-17T18:19:00.000-07:00

DJ Motoman gives autographs and spins records.

Insert joke about current top 40 radio here.