Monkey Video

But Who Determines What is the Threat?

Get A Rope

So this little blue AstroBoy wannabe climbed the Grand Canyon. But this was more about batteries than robotechnology.

So this robot can keep on killing...and killing...and killing...and killing...

Monkey Paw

Sure, right now the cute little monkey uses a link in his brain to power a robot arm that he then uses to feed himself.

But have these researchers never seen real monkeys? How long until they start checking each other for ticks and then start flinging poo at us? Imagine how much force they could use with that robot arm. Makes clean up time just that much more difficult.

SnoBots

Sure, they look like tiny rc snowmobiles, but they're heading to the pole to become little roboShackletons.

Yes, the north pole, where tiny robots can continue implanting and tending their nefarious global warming devices while pretending to help polar bears.

Or maybe they'll head straight for the alien base lodged in the center of the earth.

Creepy

Just plain creepy.



The website also makes this creepy promise: "Male version available soon."

Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh?

Now they're taking over our jobs as commercial spokesmodels.



Maybe this is why SAG is considering a strike.

Light My Fire

Meet Flame, a new robot that walks like a human.

Do I really need to say anything more about where this could lead?

The thing's got fire in place of a head, for Pete's sake!

Your Friendly Neighborhood SpiderBot

Continuing the insect theme, here's a wall-crawler.

It crawls up your wall, parks itself on the ceiling and waits for a signal from the evil robot overlords to drop a web of death on you.

Jumpin' Jehosaphat

Robot grasshopper jumps into action. Developers hope to use it for searching for survivors of disasters or hop around another planet.

Or hop into your home to keep an eye on things?

Mow-Bot

Well, maybe this robot's not so bad.

Although I suppose you'll need to keep your feet up.

Oh My God -- It Ate A Kitten!

Beware RoboStool. It's already eaten a cat, and soon it'll be coming after you.



Better not get off your La-Z-Boy...

Robots on the Brain

From our friends in Canada:

"Calgary doctors have made surgical history, using a robot to remove a brain tumour from a 21-year-old woman.

'It was scary at first,' said Nickason of the idea of being operated on by a robot."


Gee, you think?

Well, That Didn't Take Long

They've eliminated the need for a human conductor, so why not kick out the human musicians as well?





UPDATE

Here's a longer video. Same robots, though. Same shameful display of robots making humans obsolete as part of their nefarious plans.

Stop the Presses!

From The Press Association:

British scientists have won a £1 million grant to find out if a robot can safely be employed to stir soup in a kitchen.

The project called Co-operative Human Robot Interaction Systems and based at the Bristol Robotics Lab has been funded by the European Commission.

A lab spokeswoman said: "It will specifically look at the problems of a human and a robot working together in the same space, for example in a kitchen where the service robot is performing a task such as stirring soup, while you add cream."

Here's another article on this important subject.

I'm just not sure I have a comment on this story. Except, of course, the obligatory reference to that Outer Limits cook book, To Serve Man.

First They Took Our Conductors, And I Said Nothing...

So the first big concert of the RoboSymphony Orchestra happened yesterday.

First they outsource our conductors, then our viola players become robots and then...?

By the way, does anybody else think it's ironic that Japan sent a robot they built to conduct an orchestra in Detroit...?

The Undersea World of RoboCousteau

This little feller will "explore the depths of the Atlantic Ocean to study the growth of underwater volcanoes."

Hmm. Volcanoes, eh?

How long until they start hollowing them out to make a secret lair where they can finally hammer out their plans to annihilate us?

RoboBugs Climb Through Rubble To Make Sure You're Dead

Researchers are working to build smarter robots by using bug locomotion as a model for climbing over rough terrain.

Quote: "the research is expected to lead to the introduction of powerful and flexible machines suitable for use in dynamically changing environments where conditions are unstable or unpredictable, such as war zones or disaster areas."

War zones, eh? Like the war between robots and humans...?

Now Here's A Great Lede

How's this for an opening sentence:

Emotion-detecting robot cars will face off against eavesdropping flying saucers in the English countryside...

Comin' Right Up

RoboExotica features robots serving cocktails.

What could be better than robobartenders serving you a hot cup of fiery death?

Tastes Great, Less Killing

Now we 're developing mouths -- so robots can figure out what we taste like.

Maybe they'll be less likely to keep chewing if they find out we don't taste like chicken. Unless, of course, we do taste like chicken. Then we're in trouble.

Bear Market

Well here's an interesting new way for them to approach world domination. Through our free market system.

Meet Marl the stock picking robot.

Quote: Once an orderly and uncongested chart pattern is recognized; proven to generate risk/reward is identified by "Marl", it will then be added to its "Watch List".

Yeah, I bet we'll all be added to its watch list sooner or later.

Image from http://olegportnoy.blogspot.com

Early Adoption

New York Times article on robots in surgery.

Money quote: “The real story is that this is a technology that has been disseminated fairly widely prematurely."

Gosh, that couldn't be a problem, could it?

RoboSquirrel

At long last, someone has developed a robot squirrel. They're used to observe squirrel behavior, blah blah blah.

Great. Now I have to worry about whether the squirrels in my yard are actually part of a robot surveillance team.

RoboAnesthetist

Yes, now we have a robot anesthesiologist, adorably named McSleepy.

It's just perfect, isn't it? What better way to lull us into submission before injecting us with a three drug cocktail?

Robot Arm of Doom

Robot arm picks up coins. Next, it will insert them in a slot it slices into your neck.